- Grease Is The Word…. Have You Heard?
- Friday Bonanza
- Bored with Dust
- Undercover Hit
- Bored Darko
- Amazing Man, Amazing Journey
- One Long Bad Joke
- Hitchhiking to Cornytown
- Not Fit for Human Viewing
- Planets Unaligned
- A Smooth Scheme
- Hide The Rabbits, Another Crazy On The Loose
- Reviving Dry Comedy
- Claymation Gone Bad
- Break the Mirror Already
- Men and Women Are Fools
- Are You An Invader?
- Firing Folks Made to Look Interesting
- The Original Invasion Was By Far the Best
- Invasion Reinvisioned
- Strange Twists
- Good Will, Still Sucky Affleck
- Derailed Money Introduces Lopez’s Acting
- The Original Minority Report
- “Wheee. What a predicament.”
- The Best Stripper Fight — EVER!
- All Aborad for a Pineapple Adventure
- Cornier Than Blair’s Witch
- Senseless Murders Over Money
- Too Much Hype Over A Drunk
- “I Don’t have Time To Bleed”
- Better Swagger in Book
- Welcome to A WTF Double Whammy
- The Heartbreak of Getting Laid
- Mistaken Identity Gone Haywire
- One Sexy Psycho
- Brotherly Chaos
- When Past Lies Resurface
- A Makeover Fit For An Ogre
- Waiting to Exhale For Men
- No Wonder Bruce Lee Was So Damn Good
- Wanted: Non-Ogre To Rule Far, Far, Far Away
- Kill the Humans; Keep the Monkey
- Another Great Stolen Story
- The Motel That Time & You Should Forget
- One of the Biggest Dissapointments in the Archives
- The Snake Was the Best Actor Here
- Straddling Between Worship and Truth
- Needy Saves the Day & the Film
- Wasted Time On Another Tarantino Film
- When Passion Becomes a Bet for Suckers
- Seduction from Valmont’s Point-of-View
- The Love of Irish Punishment
- A Real Horror Film – Halloween Edition
- Another Child’s Game Gone Wrong – Halloween Edition
- Does Religion Kill Or Just the Crazed Followers?
- A Payne To Watch
- New Found Respect For Sweetback
- Cooning Need Not Apply
- Charlie’s Oversexed Angels
- Crap with Feathers & A Beak
- Hoping To Never See These Angles Again
- G. I’m Glad This Didn’t Suck
- Finally, A Cop I Can Respect
- Was Johnny 5 Animated?
- Hott Tatt; Crazed Life
- Fighting to Keep Truth Alive Since 1921
- ‘Rules’ Make 4 Decent Flick
- A Good Move For Gooding Jr.
- Men Gone Wild
- Have A Gizmo Xmas
- Gremlins Strike Again
- The Best Fiction From 1956
- Daddy’s NOT Paranoid After All
- A Great Reason To Hate Clowns
- Cokehead Gets Jacked
- Starship Bitches
- Men In Skirts Get Physical
- The Better of the Grits
- Raced To Death & Loving It
- Great for Trekkies
- Wonka & His Oompa Sucked
- Living Advertisement
- A ‘Dream’ Worth Having
- Even Alaska Deserved Better
- The Day I Realized How Much Keanu Sucked
- Same Old, Same Old
- A Wormhole of Comedy
- Ruthless Laughter
- Road to Murder or Redemption?
- Disney’s Warrior Princess
- The Better Willy Wonka
- The Puppet Franchise Was Weak
- Troopers vs. Roaches
- Classic Hauntings of a Demon
- Careful What You Wish For
- Waste of a Concept
- Step Down from the Spotlight
- Dear John, You’re No Notebook
- Advocating for Satan Has Its Perks
- True Redemption
- Random Calls Make for Decent Film
- No Fun Left Beating the Same Jokes Down in Dodgeball
- No Shitty Holmes
- Is This the NWO Dream for 2032?
- The Legend of Fame More in My Head Than Reality
- A Film Made from a Fortune Cookie
- Weak Film with Weak Premise
- Conspiracies Make for Strong Film
- Secrets in a Marriage Shocker for Spies?
- Needed: An Escape from Crap
- Another Innocent Man Used As Pawn
- Is There Any Need To Return To Thunderdome?
Film: Cellular
Actor(s): Chris Evans, Kim Basinger, Jason Statham, Eric Christian Olsen, Eric Etebari, Noah Emmerich, William H. Macy, Matt McColm, Brendan Kelly, Valerie Cruz, Richard Burgi, Jessica Biel, Caroline Aaron, Adam Taylor
Official Drop Date: September 10, 2004
Grade: B-
Blade(s): 8
Bottom-line: Risk worth taking for Statham.
Review: Set up. Goofball kid is the unfortunate one to receive a random phone call from a woman locked in her attic by terror monkeys. After the attic phone is smashed to pieces by the lead terror monkey (the ever exciting Jason Statham) the determined and frightened mom/wife Kim Bassinger (another flop of talent) MacGyvers the pieces together to make a random call. Bingo. It goes to the goofball. After convincing him that it is not a prank call, he runs around LA attempting to track down the terror monkeys and stop a deviant plan.
This film was not thought of to be much, and a classic it isn’t, but this is a quality B-Flick all the way. A promising plot, decent acting, enjoyable action. This gives pleasure to viewers and is pleasing enough for multiple viewings. B- and 8 blades.
blades: 
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