- Awesome Negotiations
- Family Introductions
- A-List HEAT
- Green Invasion
- Trained Legend
- Scared To Laughter
- Potter In Training
- Pawn the Ring and Cut Your Losses
- Vanilla Sleeper
- Another Hit For Washington
- Rather Go Broke
- Left In Stitches
- A Golden Touch
- Last Stand For Lawrence?
- Beast Gets Beauty
- A Sweet Thing
- MC Battles Brought To The Masses
- Potter Returns
- A Berry Happy 007
- Frodo Saves Face
- Drummed Out
- Snapped In History
- Korean I’m Gonna Git You Sucka
- Useless Films Are Still Being Made
- A Transformed Summer
- All Talk; No Action
- Bordering Good Work
- A Better Halloween
- Let’s Play Ball!
- Wanted Heartbreak
- Questioning Marriage
- An Oscar Worthy Gangster ?
- Redrum: Another Bad Negro Film
- Fred Claus Is Coming To Town
- Iron Success or Iron Dud
- Righteous, Just Righteous
- Pushed to Success
- Half-Filled Expectations
- Orphan Rage
- District Unwanted
- Sexed in the City
- Menopausal Wonderland Alice
- Princess Frog: Another Disney Negro Princess
- Not Blinded to a Great Film
- Can I Be Blue For 2010?
- 2010 is Here; 2012 Marshmallow Party Is Near
- Better Than Expected
- The Return of Hot Garbage
- Daybreakers Broke My Will
- Eli & A Book
- Another Boring, Typical Apocolypse
- Werewolves Revived
- Another Reason Why Valentine’s Day Sucks Ass
- Dreaming on Acid
- The Greek Harry Potter: Aged and Out of Sorts
- Out of Love with Paris
- Ban Us From This Island
- Breaking the Law Could Look Better
- Is This the Finest of Brooklyn?
- Any Wonder Left for Alice? Certainly Ran Out of Love
- Bourne Leaves Behind Treadstone for WMDs
- Negro Love Served on Mexican Garbage Lid
- I’m Not Sure If I Want to Know You Anymore
- Is Marriage The Way To Go?
- Death at the Box Office
- Plan For A Good Movie
- Another Unnecessary Perseus
- Unwanted Desires
- Let’s Face It, Mindy Was the Real Kick-Ass!!
- If Caves Could Cry, They Would Be In Tears Over This Film
- Government At Its best
- NuNightmare Not A Complete Nightmare
- Double the Steel, Short on the Action – Possible Spoilers
- Losers = Awesome!
- Alice: Heiress Turned Prostitute
- “Nut Up or Shut Up” – Finally, Zombies I Like!
- Keeping the Fire Burning In A Marriage Made Easy – NOT
- Leave the Thinking Outside the Theatre
- Another Cute Negro Film
- Matt Found His Niche – FINALLY!!
- Pimping A Negro Learning Kung Fu
- Another Bad Bug Film
- Despicably Lovable
- Overhyped Dead People and Shapeshifting Dogs
- Giving the Name “Indian Giver” An Entire New Meaning
- The Hunt for a Good Film for Aniston Comes Up Empty
- Salty But Good
- Burn Your Passports and Avoid This Film
- Expendably Doable
- Stepping Up Mainly For Dancers
- An Afterlife Worth Talking About
- Heists Were Better Than Ending
- Has Shyamalan Found A New Definition for Disappointment?
- I Was Tricked Into Watching Shutter Island 2!
- Finally – Good Acting From Affleck
- Standing Ovation For Colored Girls
- A Decent Wrap Up to A Bloody Franchise
- RED with Excitment
- Mega Disappointment
- Due For Annoyance
- Potter’s Ultimate Battle Begins
- Still Not Sure Why I Watched This
- Jilted Nerd Turns Revenge Into Finance
- Great Sword Technique, Senseless Film Overall
- You Had Me At “Where’s the Exit”
- Runaway Hit
- The Kids Were Wrong
- Drugs Jack Another Legendary Rock Group
- Are All Ballerinas P-noid?
- There Are Still Laughts To Be Had
- Ward: The Ultimate Comeback Kid
- The Weaker Grit
- Depp Keeps Getting Better
- A Waste of Time
- A Surprising Knight
- Another Sad Attempt At Comedy
- Proof That We Are Not “Free”
- Selleck and Kutcher Make A Good Team
- Aniston Should Switch Careers
- Boy Became A Man
- Viciousness Disguised As Research
- The Blair Witch Legacy of Suck Ass
- Not So Fame Worthy
- Where Death Began
- Hood Brings the Drama
- Gag Me Already
- Super Let Down
- I’m Ape & I’m Proud! Say It Loud!
- Still Waiting for Aniston & Sandler to Make A Grown Up Film
- Denzel Makes Bad Sooo Damn Good!
- Decent Post-Potter Attempt
- No Drag Necessary: Tyler Perry Scores A Fab Film
Film: Rise of the Planet of the Apes
Actor(s): James Franco, David Oyelowo, Freida Pinto, John Lithgow, Brian Cox, Tom Felton, Andy Serkis, Terry Notary, Chelah Horsdal, Tyler Labine, David Hewlett, Jamie Harris, Richard Ridings, Christopher Gordon, Karin Konoval
Official Drop Date: August 5, 2011
Grade: B
Blade(s): 8
Bottom-line: Good film despite the bullshit
Review: Conquering of Planet of the Apes (1972) was remade and called “Rise of the Planet of the Apes.” This film was good for retelling the story of fraudulent and selfish scientists, but fell short in showing what the book and the remade version of. Planet of the Apes established – Cesar was feared and respected because of his natural ability to speak. Not three phrases, but entire sentences and even had conversations. Apes became pets, not merely participants of science experiments. The crux of the story was solid but the fluff cover-up was bullshit.
As expected the makers “wowed” with special effects but lacked in explanations. Watching some of the common issues played out on screen was hilarious because certain audience members laughed out while others seemed to be stunned or confused into silence. Yes, that elephant entered the movie theater and sat the fuck down while a majority of the audience pretend it didn’t make a ruckus. The film, concept, and elephant get 8 blades and a B. Folks, call a spade a SPADE. This was NOT a “new” Ape film added to the franchise – it was one “new” REMAKE of shit we’ve already seen.
Are they going to drug every audience up so our minds will be convinced that this shit didn’t happen already? Also, Charlton Heston sucked ass as an actor. Please end the use of that shitty line “Take your stinking paws off me, you damn dirty ape!” We got it already – the first TWO times you used that shit.
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