I’m Ape & I’m Proud! Say It Loud!

Film: Rise of the Planet of the Apes

Actor(s): James Franco, David Oyelowo, Freida Pinto, John Lithgow, Brian Cox, Tom Felton, Andy Serkis, Terry Notary, Chelah Horsdal, Tyler Labine, David Hewlett, Jamie Harris, Richard Ridings, Christopher Gordon, Karin Konoval

Official Drop Date: August 5, 2011

Grade: B

Blade(s): 8

Bottom-line: Good film despite the bullshit

Review: Conquering of Planet of the Apes (1972) was remade and called “Rise of the Planet of the Apes.” This film was good for retelling the story of fraudulent and selfish scientists, but fell short in showing what the book and the remade version of. Planet of the Apes established – Cesar was feared and respected because of his natural ability to speak. Not three phrases, but entire sentences and even had conversations. Apes became pets, not merely participants of science experiments. The crux of the story was solid but the fluff cover-up was bullshit.

As expected the makers “wowed” with special effects but lacked in explanations. Watching some of the common issues played out on screen was hilarious because certain audience members laughed out while others seemed to be stunned or confused into silence. Yes, that elephant entered the movie theater and sat the fuck down while a majority of the audience pretend it didn’t make a ruckus. The film, concept, and elephant get 8 blades and a B. Folks, call a spade a SPADE. This was NOT a “new” Ape film added to the franchise – it was one “new” REMAKE of shit we’ve already seen.

Are they going to drug every audience up so our minds will be convinced that this shit didn’t happen already? Also, Charlton Heston sucked ass as an actor. Please end the use of that shitty line “Take your stinking paws off me, you damn dirty ape!” We got it already – the first TWO times you used that shit.

blades: ★★★★★★★★☆☆

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