“I Don’t have Time To Bleed”

Film: Predator

Actor(s): Arnold Schwarzenegger, Carl Weathers, Elpidia Carrillo, Bill Duke, Jesse Ventura, Kevin Peter Hall, Sonny Landham, Richard Chaves, Shane Black, R. G. Armstrong

Official Drop Date: June 12, 1987

Grade: B-

Blade(s): 7

Bottom-line: The way classic garbage should be made!

Review: This movie is about to be released as a sequel but it was better to relive the original for now. Arnold Schwarzenegger starred in this movie as the ass kicking soldier man, Major Alan “Dutch” Schaeffer, who was called in to help retrieve a fallen plane and the men aboard. However, things took a turn for the worse as lies were uncovered and a new threat was realized. Now fighting for his survival and the survival of his men, Schaeffer must figure out what’s in the jungle with them and how to defeat it. Arnold was so bad that he was good, but Jesse Ventura was a hot mess and a worse actor than Schwarzenegger – if that’s even possible. The death scenes were cheesy but it was just something about 80s classic garbage that makes this film legendary. 7 blades and a B- for hot garbage and the usual governmental rouge mission gone bad.

blades: ★★★★★★★☆☆☆

About Jessica Russo